传薪教育

标题: 放不下的写作：2023广东一模续写~湛江一中梁向群 [打印本页]

作者: xyfan 时间: 2023-5-22 15:16
标题: 放不下的写作：2023广东一模续写~湛江一中梁向群

写在前面的话：

在Chat GTP和各种高端AI盛行的这段日子，我的写作热情一度被残酷谋杀过。然而，面对广东一模的这篇续写，莫名有想写的冲动，这种冲动太可贵了，再忙也要马上敲出来。写完，让金睛火眼的好同事审稿，做了修改润色，成文如下。一直以来，对审稿的Britney和Monica, 说多少感谢都不够，遇上如此用心品读研读的第一读者，何其有幸！每次改到她俩满意，就是最开心最有成就感的事情。写完这篇，回看，它令我想起去年全国I卷的David’s Run. 两篇主题有异曲同工之处，主人公都是9岁至10岁左右的孩子，都是在教育者（老师）外力的辅助下，经过内心挣扎，positive的自我打败negative的自我，收获成长的故事。写David’s Run的时候，我当时其实是个稚嫩的续写作者（说得好像你现在就是个成熟的作者一样），没有带高三备考续写的经历和经验，写的时候脑袋里没什么太多技巧的条条框框，很随性地写完了。当时我连词数都没数，对篇幅不太在意，我最大的毛病就是一写总会收不住，刚刚看了一下，去年这篇续写第二段，居然被我写了159个词。时隔9个多月，在带高三题海沉浮的忙碌日子里，我也没少陪同写作。看题、审题、阅卷、备课、学习、评讲的过程中，我本人对续写的认知慢慢变多了，审题和写作时，脑海里总有那些步骤和理论牵引着，再也不会恣意一泻千里了。把时隔9个多月的两篇习作放在一起，仿佛看到本人的变化（注意：变化，不是成长，因为连我自己也说不清是否进步了，但貌似文风变得更应试了？）轨迹。面对电脑里留存的一堆陪同学生写的作文，敝帚自珍而已，欢迎碰巧有耐心阅读的同行多多指教。Sharing is caring.
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2023.3.31

#广东一模续写#

第二节（满分25分）

阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。

Hector stood in the front of his fifth-grade classroom as one of the last two competitors in the Room Five Geography Bee. His opponent having missed the last question, it was Hector's turn. If he answered his question correctly, he would be the Room Five champion.

“Where did I put that second sheet of questions?” Mr. Adler whispered while searching through a thick pile of papers on his messy desk. Mr. Adler, though a great teacher, had a reputation of being disorganized with a long history of misplacing things. “Oh well, I apologize for the delay. " said Mr. Adler after what seemed like a long time. “Hector, please tell us the capital city of Brazil. ” Hearing the question, Hector smiled. Then, there was the answer.

Later that day in the courtyard, many classmates congratulated Hector. Wearing a proud smile, he greeted and thanked them all. Oh, the sweet taste of victory.

As it was getting late, the courtyard became deserted. But Hector still didn't want to leave. Then he saw Mr. Adler crossing the courtyard and holding a half-open bag full of papers. As he hurried past, an envelope dropped out but Mr. Adler was unaware, turned a corner and disappeared out of sight. Hector picked it up. On the envelope were the words “Fifth Grade Geography Bee Questions and Answers". Hector stared wide-eyed at the envelope. Before he even had time to reflect on the consequences, he opened it and read the questions.

As soon as Hector had done it, he knew it was the wrong choice. He'd cheated and whatever he did now, he couldn't change the fact. “What if Mr. Adler thought I stole this morning's questions too?” Hector thought. “He'd take away my Room Five victory for sure. ” Little did he know that one of the best days in his life would be turned into the worst so quickly. Torn by his conscience, Hector was totally at a loss what to do.

注意：

1．续写词数应为150左右；

2．请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。

Before he realized it, Hector found himself standing in Mr. Adler's room.

The next day the entire school came to watch the Fifth Grade Geography Bee.

作者：湛江第一中学梁向群 Kelly审稿：何海艳Britney、黄晓婷Monica

Before he realized it, Hector found himself standing in Mr. Adler's .（Mr. Adler was searching his bag inside out for something, as it was always the case. 如篇幅受限，可删去本句）Words were caught in his throat, shame and guilt swallowing Hector. How he wished he could disappear into the floor! Mr Adler was about to enquire about the beads of perspiration and weird expression on his face when he finally gathered all his courage to pour out what had happened and his regrets. He ducked his head, as if on trial, ready for Mr. Adler’s any decision. Much to his surprise, in an understanding and concerned voice, the teacher forgave his impulse to open the envelop and appreciated his courage to confess everything, promising to rewrite the questions. Grateful tears slowly made their way down his face, the knots in his stomach loosened.

The next day the entire school came to watch the Fifth Grade Geography Bee.Unlike what happened in Room 5, the audience was much larger and opponents seemed much nimbler and more competitive. It was a truly big event. Hector’s brain was swiftly working with his heart racing. Spectators held their breath when Hector was struggling for the last decisive question. Seconds turned into minutes. Deafening silence! Unfortunately, time was up and he failed to make it. Afterwards, while his fans came over to bemoan his narrow defeat, he, deep down inside, was strangely calm and relieved. He lost the championship but won the most invaluable thing. The sweet taste of fair play and integrity was worth a whole lot more than anything else. (The lesson learned through subtle inner struggle, when he least expected it, turned out to be worth treasuring for the rest of his life!如篇幅受限，可删去本句。)

2022全国新高考1卷

第二节（满分25分）

阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。

It was the day of the big cross-country run. Students from seven different primary schools in and around the small town were warming up and walking the route (路线) through thick evergreen forest.

I looked around and finally spotted David, who was standing by himself off to the side by a fence. He was small for ten years old. His usual big toothy smile was absent today. I walked over and asked him why he wasn't with the other children. He hesitated and then said he had decided not to run.

What was wrong? He had worked so hard for this event!

I quickly searched the crowd for the school's coach and asked him what had happened. "I was afraid that kids from other schools would laugh at him," he explained uncomfortably. "I gave him the choice to run or not, and let him decide."

I bit back my frustration (懊恼). I knew the coach meant well-- he thought he was doing the right thing. After making sure that David could run if he wanted, I turned to find him coming towards me, his small body rocking from side to side as he swung his feet forward.

David had a brain disease which prevented him from walking or running like other children, but at school his classmates thought of him as a regular kid. He always participated to the best of his ability in whatever they were doing. That was why none of the children thought it unusual that David had decided to join the cross-country team. It just took him longer --that's all. David had not missed a single practice, and although he always finished his run long after the other children, he did always finish. As a special education teacher at the school, I was familiar with the challenges David faced and was proud of his strong determination.

注意：1.续写词数应为150左右；

2.请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。

We sat down next to each other, but David wouldn't look at me.

I watched as David moved up to the starting line with the other runners.

2022.6.8

作者：广东省湛江第一中学梁向群 Kelly Liang审稿：何海艳Britney、潘茵茵Vivi

2022.6.8

His wandering eyes betrayed his painful struggle. I must help him make a brave decision-----the true one deep down inside him. “Are you sure you’ll give up the opportunity you’ve been sweating for all these years? Are you sure you won’t regret not taking this chance when looking back some day later? Will others’ opinions define what you are?” I gently patted him on the skinny yet powerful shoulder and encouraged him to be honest with himself. However, I wasn’t forcing him, for he’s wise enough to know what he really wanted. He slowly raised his head, looking at me with a twinkle in his eye. A silent exchange of glance told me his final decision.

I watched as David moved up to the starting line with the other runners. Then started the fierce competition, taking away the audience’s breath. Everybody’s heart went out to him when the poor little boy was left farther and farther behind. Worse still, he tripped and fell when I was cheering loudly for him! “Was I to blame for all these embarrassments? “ I guiltily thought to myself. David managed to pick himself up before anybody was able to help. He continued to drag his legs towards the destination. Thunderous applause and cheers filled the air with a chorus of “Come on, David!” blowing in the balmy breeze. David, no doubt, was the last one, but the greatest hero shining with the awesome sportsmanship! “ It feels so good when hesitation gives way to determination! ” With this conclusion, the breathless boy threw himself into my arms and thanked me with his toothy grin. For me, the greatest privilege of being a teacher is that you never know how your pupil will teach you!

声明：本文由爱V高中英语编排整理，素材来源网络综合整理而汇总知识，版权归属原创者所有，感谢所有原作者的辛勤付出，分享为公益如有侵权请联系删除，转载请完整备注

作者: 兰希 时间: 2023-5-22 15:16
We walked side by side as David finished the race, his determination and courage leaving a deep impression on me. The other children from our school had already finished and were waiting for him at the finish line, cheering him on with loud applause and cheers.

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